your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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