i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
bring money and cleavage
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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