Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
