I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
