ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize