My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
