It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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