the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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