what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
