Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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