i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
