belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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