All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
