There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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