so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
