the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
