Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
