i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
