My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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