GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize