I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
