soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
