they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
