Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
