So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
