I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
