I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
