My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he was CRYING into my vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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