Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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