Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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