yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
