No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
