Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
