Me too!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I love you. Go after that dick
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