ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
