worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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