Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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