Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
