He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
