i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize