christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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