I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
