i can't believe i had my finger in that
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
