Can Purell be used as lube?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
