I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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