After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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