Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
