The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
