i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
