im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
they need to just BURY HIM!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
