I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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