it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
