i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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