you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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