Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
