wanna go halves on a baby?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
