The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
