I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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