Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
