i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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