she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
