Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
