I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
