1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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