dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
