Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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