It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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