You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
