whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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