Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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