i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
