honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
